Introduction to Cath Halim
Hello everyone! My name is Cath and I went through a shit load of body image issues in the year of 2018 to 2020. In 2019, I gained 25 kilograms to repair my relationship with food and my body.
I have always been a chronic dieter since I was young (I started my first diet when I was 13). I had been on so many different diets which includes no carb, no sugar, keto, paleo, intermittent fasting, replacement shakes diet, the 4-hour diet, being vegetarian, vegan etc. I was always using working out and fitness to "lose weight”. However, what it really did was mask the real issue of “disordered eating”. There are so many reasons why my behaviour went undiscovered but one of the main reasons are the society praises the skinny and shames fat people. Health was never (and should never have been) a look.
I gained fame as a fashion influencer on Instagram, and gaining weight was one of the issues I was most scrutinized for. In 2018, I posted minimal pictures of myself as I was constantly criticized for putting on weight. These comments hurt, even if they are from strangers. Little did many know that in 2018, I was coming off some extremely toxic relationships. In 2018, I was also abusing alcohol, suffered from insomnia, anxiety, and was obsessively exercising.
The most challenging part of disordered eating, anxiety or all sorts of mental health issues is it often gets masked easily and swept under the carpet. In my own experience, I was able to hide all of these problems. From the outside, I looked the same, except fatter.
Eventually, my body started breaking down. I had hormonal imbalances, I wasn’t getting my period, I was anxious most of the times. There were so many parts of my physical health that eventually suffered.
This newsletter is a raw account of all of the challenges I faced with mental health, self love, body dysmorphia and disordered eating. As my story has to be traced back quite extensively to my younger self, I hope that through I can shed light on these topics. Mental health, anxiety, disordered eating behaviours are all linked. I hope that this platform and my stories can inspire you to take the first step towards healing. Many will ask, why not have this conversation only on Instagram and Instagram Stories?
There are two main reasons:
1. Information is shared only to my subscribers a to maintain a certain privacy to my stories.
2. It helps better chronicle my journey and in greater details.
As I sharing my experiences with the public, more of my friends have stepped out to talk about their own journey. Cindy is a well-known Jakarta based fashion influencer who has experienced being critiqued for her weight gain. Little did many know that she was actually undergoing kidney treatments that required her to consume antibiotics that caused her to gain weight. I invited her to come onto my Instagram next Thursday to speak about this. In the future, I would like to conduct private, closed door sessions with my friends and subscribers. Super excited on what is to come!
Thank you for taking the time to sign up, to read and to share this with the ones you care about. Welcome to the CH family, I hope my stories can inspire you in even the smallest way possible. If you’ve enjoyed what you read, I would hope that you can take a minute to share this with your friends.